Blockbuster
by MACRA
Summary: Varrick has a pitch for Korra and Asami. It goes about as well as you might expect.


"Why exactly are we having lunch with Varrick?" Asami glanced at Korra as they walked through the parking lot at Future Industries. Korra had arrived late morning, announcing the meeting as a done deal.

"Free food," Korra said promptly.

Asami considered this. "You know, I may have forgotten to mention it, but we're actually quite wealthy. We don't actually need free food."

Korra waved her hand. "Yes, I know. But he's got us a table at The Southern Lights."

Asami stopped in her tracks. "I've been trying to get us a reservation there for weeks! I had to settle for something four months out. How did he manage it?"

"Eh, knowing Varrick, he found a way to cheat. Probably bought the restaurant or something."

Asami rolled her eyes, but didn't dispute the observation. "Anyway, this is a sidetrack. I put my question badly. If I may rephrase, why did Varrick invite us to lunch?"

"I don't really know," Korra said. "He said he had something that he wanted to talk over with us."

"With him, that could be almost anything. Did he give you any hints?"

"No," Korra said. "It took about five minutes to get even that much out of him."

"Oh, good." They reached Asami's car, and she fished her keys out. "Will Zhu Li be there to keep him in check?"

"I think she's out of town right now."

Asami took a deep calming breath. "Free food?"

Korra raised her fists above her head and grinned. "Free food!"

Asami climbed behind the wheel. "OK. We can do this."

* * *

At The Southern Lights, Korra leaned on the host stand and gave the maitre d' a big smile. "Hi. We're here to have lunch with Mr. Varrick."

The man seemed to look on them with something like pity in his eyes. Or perhaps it was just Asami's imagination. "Right this way."

Varrick stood up from his table when he saw them approaching. He spread his arms expansively and boomed out, "Korra! Asami! How are my second and third favorite ladies?" People all around the room turned to look. Asami shot the maitre d' an apologetic look, which he acknowledged with a grave nod.

"We're doing just fine, Varrick," Korra said, as she pulled a chair out for Asami to sit in. Asami accepted the seat, giving Korra a smile. Korra's return smile looked a little devilish. And sure enough, as Korra seated herself she said, "So which of us is which?"

"I beg your pardon?" Varrick said.

"Second and third," she said pointing back and forth between herself and Asami.

"Behave, Precious," Asami murmured.

Varrick just beamed. "How could I possibly decide?"

"Anyway," Asami broke in hastily, "it was very kind of you to invite us to lunch. We've both been looking forward to a chance to eat here." The three of them turned their attention to the menus, and for a time the conversation became general and reassuringly normal.

It wasn't until after the food arrived that Varrick stopped the small talk and got down to business. "I wanted to talk to you ladies about a new mover that I'm planning."

Asami exchanged glances with Korra. That sounded harmless enough. "OK. Shoot."

"In the future, the world has been taken over by killer robots." He spread his hands as he set the scene.

"What's a robot?" Korra asked.

"It's an autonomous machine," Asami said. "Kind of a like a mecha suit that doesn't need a driver. They're just theoretical right now."

"OK," Korra said, biting her lip. "Why?"

Varrick looked puzzled. "Why are they just theoretical?"

"No. Why are they killers? Why have they taken over the world?"

"Er..." Varrick didn't seem to know what to do with the question.

Asami reflected that Korra had never seen the Nuktuk pictures, or she would know that Varrick wasn't really big on "why" in his stories. She felt a strange urge to help the man out. "It probably depends on whether they're supposed to be intelligent or not. If they're just mindless machines, they could just be working automatically on bad instructions."

"OK, that would be creepy. What if they're intelligent?"

Asami shrugged. "Revenge maybe? I mean, people are ready to oppress each other pretty readily. Why wouldn't they do that to machines they had created?"

"Sure, that makes sense as far as it goes. But not all people are bad, and I'd think not all robots would be bad either. Where are the ones that want to get along with the humans?"

"Maybe they're just not in charge. We've both seen that violent people have a way of rising to the top."

Korra nodded. "OK, that works." They both looked at Varrick, who was looking at them, mouth hanging slightly open. "Sorry to interrupt," Korra added. "Go on."

"Er, right. So anyway, there's a heroic resistance movement of human beings. And good robots too, I suppose."

"I wasn't trying to change your story," Korra said.

"No no! It's fine. It's given me an idea for a sequel. Anyway, the resistance is slowly gaining ground, thanks to the brilliant leadership of one man. The killer robots realize they must eliminate the leader of the resistance. So they send a special robot that can disguise itself as a human back in time, to kill the mother of the resistance leader so he's never even born!" Varrick grinned and waved an arm.

Asami blinked. "The killer robots have time travel?"

Korra had been chewing on her lower lip. "Wait, how does that work exactly?"

Varrick looked shifty. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say he looked shiftier than normal. "What, how does time travel work?"

"Well, no. Or I guess yes. But I don't mean technically. I mean the plan." She started moving things on her plate. "OK, so these two radishes are the resistance leader and his mother. And this shrimp is a killer robot. It goes back in time." She put the shrimp next to the first radish. "And it kills the mother." She picked up the radish and moved it to Asami's plate. "And so the resistance leader is never born and, what, disappears from the future, I guess?" She moved the second radish. "But then that makes the robot disappear from the past, because it was never sent back, because there was never any resistance leader to get rid of." She popped the shrimp into her mouth. "You see the problem?" she said around a mouthful of shrimp. "Now the mother never dies and the resistance leader goes back to being born." She finally retrieved the radishes from Asami's plate.

"Technically," Asami said smiling, "at this point the killer robot should reappear in the past."

"Yes, I know," Korra said. "I just really wanted to eat the shrimp. But I'm right, aren't I? Isn't that a problem? Everything just goes back and forth between the guy existing and not existing."

Asami nodded. "It's called the 'Grandfather paradox,' because the one of the first people to talk about it framed it as someone traveling back in time and killing their own grandfather."

Korra grimaced. "Anti-social."

"I think possibly it was supposed to be an accident rather than murder. Anyway, it depends on what theoretical model you pick for time and time travel."

"There's more than one?" Korra sounded interested.

"Oh, yes. There's a Professor Ichigo at the university that's done a lot of work on the nature of time." Asami glanced at Varrick. His brow was furrowed and he had a slightly wild look in his eye. He took a large swig from his wine glass as he stared at them. "I'll help you find some books on the subject later," she told Korra hastily. "For now, it probably is good enough to say that modern science can't rule it out. For the sake of the story, we can assume the killer robots know more about time travel than we do and know that the plan will work."

"I dunno," Korra said. "It still seems kind of risky. They're only guessing that they'll be better off with the new future. Maybe the freedom fighters get a different leader who's just as good. How do they know that can't happen? And even if the change works, they won't know that they did anything once the future changes, so..." Asami kicked Korra under the table. "You, know what?" Korra said, shooting Asami a look. "I'm fine with it. Go on Varrick."

"Right. Where was I?" Varrick said. He started gesturing dramatically. "So anyway, the leader of the resistance sends one of his best men back in time to save his mother." Varrick paused and his gaze grew distant as he muttered under his breath for a moment. Then he nodded and grinned at them. "'His mother' meaning the leader's mother, not his best man's mother," he explained.

"The resistance has time travel also?" Korra said dubiously.

"They break into the time travel facility that the killer robots have," Varrick said, waving his hands. "At great risk and sacrifice."

The whole operation didn't make the resistance leader sound very good, Asami thought. Korra was frowning. Maybe she had the same doubts as Asami. Before Korra could say anything, Asami said "Go on."

"Well, the freedom fighter goes back in time and finds the mother before the killer robot does, and the two of them go on the run. And while they flee, pursued all the while by their implacable foe from the future, they fall in love." He spread his hands wide and leaned forward with a big grin on his face.

"That's... sweet," Korra said hesitantly.

"Isn't it, though? There's a big final confrontation, with explosions and fire and everything. The robot is destroyed, but tragically not before it kills the freedom fighter. The mother is left behind, pregnant with _their son_ , who she'll have to raise to be ready to lead the fight against the killer robots in the future!" He paused. "'Their' meaning hers and the freedom fighter's not..."

"Yeah, I think we both guessed that bit," Korra said.

"Well," Asami said. "It's certainly an interesting plot twist." Varrick beamed at her.

"Yeah, but it doesn't work," Korra said. Varrick's face fell. "It's worse than the grandfather thingy. The killer robots end up causing the exact thing they were trying to prevent. It turns out that the best move for them would have been to do nothing at all. So is it actually possible to change the past at all? Could they have decided to do nothing and changed time that way? I mean, we agreed they had to know what they were doing with time travel to explain why they weren't worried about the grandfather thingy, but this makes them look like they've got no clue."

Varrick stared at Korra for a moment and then turned to look at Asami. Korra followed suit. _I should have kept my mouth shut earlier_ , Asami thought. _Now they both expect me to fix the story problems._ She took a sip of wine to buy time, but finally gave up. "I think Varrick is probably counting on the kissing and the explosions to distract everyone from the finer points of time travel theory."

Varrick grinned again. "Exactly!"

Korra looked at Asami. Asami shook her head slightly, thinking _Please don't argue_. Maybe Korra picked up the hint. "Well, if you're happy, I'm happy," she said to Varrick with a smile and a slight shrug.

"Excellent." Varrick rubbed his hands together. "So how about it?"

Asami and Korra exchanged a puzzled glance. "How about what?" Asami asked. "Are you looking for an investor?"

"Not that. No, I want you two to star in it! Didn't I say?"

"No," Korra and Asami said in unison.

"My mistake. I want you two to star in it."

"That 'No' meant 'No, we're not going to do that,'" Korra explained. Asami nodded her agreement. Varrick sagged.

"Look," Asami said, "we're both very busy people." Varrick perked up slightly. She continued hastily before he could attempt to negotiate. "Busy doing things that we are actually interested in. For this project... This project deserves people who are passionate about it." _And you can take that however you like._

"That's right," Korra said. "What you want are a couple of actual actors who want to be in a kissy, explody, time-travel, killer robot type thing."

Varrick recovered some of his pep. "You're right. Get the right people for the job. It is a pity, though. You two would have been a great box-office draw."

Korra took a sip of her wine. "Just out of interest, which of us did you have in mind for the killer robot?"

Varrick stared at her. "No, you don't understand. I had you two in mind as the romantic leads. You know, real life couple playing people in love? Great gimmick, huh?"

Asami didn't dare look at Korra. "I think casting us that way would have a slight problem, given your main plot twist."

"A slight problem called 'biology,'" Korra said, not quite under her breath.

"I'll admit, I hadn't quite worked that bit out," Varrick said.

Asami did her best to give him a bright smile. "So I guess it's a good thing that you won't have to, isn't it?"

* * *

The rest of the meal was mostly normal, if a little awkward. "Well, that was interesting," Korra said as they drove away from the restaurant.

"It was Varrick," Asami said. "The food was excellent, though."

"And free."

Asami grinned. "And, as you say, free." She thought for a moment. "You know, I'd never admit it to Varrick, but it is a bit of a pity. I think I'd make a pretty good killer robot."

Korra sat up straighter in her seat."Hey! Why is it you that gets to be the killer robot?"

"I'm the one with the shock glove. That seems more robot-y than bending, doesn't it?"

Korra opened her mouth and then closed it. She folded her arms and flopped back in her seat, scowling slightly. "I guess that makes sense." After a minute she brightened up and said, "You know, maybe what should happen is that the woman from the present falls in love with the sexy killer robot instead and they both say 'Screw the future' and run off together."

Asami glanced at her. "Is this you trying to convince me to not return to the office today?"

Korra grinned. "Maaaybe."

Asami shook her head. "If they made it into a mover, it would never make it past the censors."

"Why, Asami, are you suggesting we do something improper? I'm shocked at you. I was thinking of going to the public library to find some of those books on time you promised." Korra fanned herself dramatically. "Your scandalous insinuation has left me all a-quiver."

Asami sputtered. "You...brat!" She glanced sideways at Korra, who was grinning wickedly at her. "For that I am finding you the driest, most badly written, incomprehensible book about time under the sun. And I will make you read all of it."

"Now, that would probably make it past the censors, but no one would watch it," Korra said. She shifted over in her seat to lean her head on Asami's shoulder. "You love me, really."

"Yes, I do. You may be a brat, but you're my brat."

"And you're my sexy killer robot."

* * *

A/N

Toza's Gym submission for Pro-Bending Circuit, season five

Equipment: Weights

Team/Position: Red Sands Rabaroos/Waterbender

Words: 2568


End file.
